Mind-hump
posted 04.08.06
So I get handed some paperwork - what's new? Thing is, I'd come in there for a massage - I wasn't there to have physical therapy, but you'd be hard pressed to tell that from the stuff on the forms: "On the figure, indicate points you're currently feeling pain..."
"Maybe I should circle the head," I thought - "'Cuz this is giving me a headache."
You see, I find this kind of paperwork before a massage to be somewhat absurd. Okay, okay, maybe it's for legal purposes, after all, this is the "home of the free - to sue you at the drop of a hat". (Where, by the way, we are about to be mandated by the great state of MA to buy health insurance. You don't want it? Too bad! You'll be fined for not buying it. Now there's a solution to the health care crisis! Why didn't I think of that?! Just make people buy it, and if they don't, it's their own damn fault for not having it. Pats on the back, all 'round the legislature! Oy. And they wonder why we're one of, like, two states that lost population in the last census? Note: I know dink about the actual merits of the legislation, this is just my knee-jerk reaction after superficial exposure...)
So where was I? Oh, right, paperwork. So, I find it wary-making when I get handed a form that asks me where it hurts before they know why I'm there. I mean, it kind of sets a tone, no? A tone, like, say, you might find in a doctor's office? Hmm... Lemme see, why might that be? Hmm... Because massage people aren't allowed to be massage people anymore, no, they have to be healers now. Gag. You can't swing a lively cat in this neck of the woods without smackin' it into a "healer" of one stripe or another.
But I just wanted a friggin' massage! I wrote on the form that I wanted a massage to relax. In the lengthy list of conditions and prior injuries, etc., I checked a box or two, handed it to my "practitioner" and walked into the massage room with her. I was ready to get on with the relaxing, but she said, "Before we get started, I just wanted to go over this with you." At which point she wanted to discuss the injuries I'd had. I didn't. I wanted a massage. But she was like a dog with a bone! "So you've had problems with your arms, tell me about that..." Nothing drives me to tick quite so fast as people trying to get me into their healer schtick - "They hurt for a while a-ways back, but that's not what I'm here for, I want a massage to relax."
"But we could work on your arms, if you'd like." (It would also cost more, being a special kind of massage, but she doesn't say that - very much like the considerate wait person who pleasantly asks everyone at the table if they'd like to start off the meal with a drink...)
"I know, but that's not what I want."
"Oh, I thought because you'd noted it on the form, you wanted to focus on that today." (See what she did here? Who do you think she's placing responsibility for this little "misunderstanding" on...)
I don't have a lengthy fuse when it comes to mind-fucking and bullshit - but I needed a massage - "I'm stressed, I want to relax. I want a massage that will help me relax. Is that a possibility?"
It took her a while to deal with the fact that I didn't see her as an all powerful healer, but a masseuse (What the hell is wrong with being a masseuse? It's bloody awesome! But I guess if you've got a grandiosity complex, it might challenge your high and mighty view of yourself as - healer. Ack - spare me.)
As it turns out, she was competent at the relaxing kind of massage.
At this point, if you've been reading my bloggage long enough, you might be wondering why I don't just go see the chap I usually get a massage from. Funny about that - it would make my life a whole lot easier, for sure - he was super competent. Only, well, you see, he started commenting on the softness of my skin... and then he wanted to have frank, open, adult conversations about sex. I made it clear that I didn't. He made it clear he didn't mean anything sexual by it, he just thought that two mature adults ought to be able to discuss this sort of thing openly... Lying nude on a massage table with a man touching you who's talking about your skin, and wants to talk about sex, might be someone's idea of relaxing, but it's not mine.
And because I like you...
Here's Marjorie's last part:
Marjorie Humboldt: A Revelation in Several Parts: Part 7 - The Final Part
In the news...
Quelle suprise!
White House Authorized Leaks, Libby Says (NPR, 04.06.06)
W. House does not dispute leak claim (Reuters, 04.08.06)
And this is where it lead:
Blasts Kill Dozens at Shiite Mosque in Baghdad (NPR, 04.07.06)
Catching on?
Bush poll ratings hit rock bottom (AP story, 04.08.06)
Hoo-ah!
DeLay calls it quits (Reuters, 04.04.06)
Oy...:
Afghanistan Drops Case Against Christian Convert (Reuters, 03.28.06)
Totally.
'Sleeping on it' best for complex decisions (NewScientist, 02.16.06)
Ooh!
Fossil Called Missing Link From Sea to Land Animals (NYTimes, 04.06.06)
Hmm...
Viruses 'trained' to build tiny batteries (Reuters, 04.07.06)
We'll never hear the end of it if this proves viable:
US company claims to make stem cells from testes (Reuters, 04.01.06)
Ew.:
Cultured Meat Straight From The Vat (Technovelgy.com)
Ooh-la:
Mayan underworld proves researchers' dream (Reuters, 03.28.06)
Spring forward
posted 04.03.06
They call it springing forward, but this year it feels more like a stagger. Oy, I'm pooped.
To perk myself up lately, I take a look at George Bush's approval ratings (!) and watch the Republicans scrambling before the mid-term elections, "No, really, we're not a bunch of corrupt bullies, we're a bunch of immigrant hating, gay bashing, entrepreneurs..."
Nothing like a little schadenfreude over breakfast to get the day started.
The crocuses and the trees blooming is a welcomed sight! Feels a bit early to have seen the first forsythia bloom, but it sure looked perty.
I've been very popular with the lads recently; I mention it because it feels spring related. The other day, a nice one handed me a box with a bit of technology in it, and said, "Just don't tell anyone I gave it to you."
"But I don't want it if it's going to get you in trouble," I said, forever carrying that weighty burden of goodness and light.
He looked back over his shoulder into his truck, which was piled with cables, tools and every imaginable scrap and said, "Honestly, I'm trying to get rid of them. Everyone wants the wireless ones now - I've been carting these around for ages, you'd be doing me a favor. Besides, they're giving the wireless ones away free with the new packages. You might as well have this one."
Put like that - how could I say no? I shrugged, "Alright then, if you're sure."
"I'll ring you later to be sure it works."
I knew there'd be a catch! But mostly, he was just being pleasant. It happens. Go figure.
Lines crossed...
So. I caught myself petting my CPU today. Do you think I've crossed a line?
In the news...
Welcome home.
Jill Carroll (CSMonitor, 04.02.06)
Carroll disavows statements against U.S. (Boston Globe, 04.01.06)